We have been fighting a number of battles in the Dinsmore household recently. We’ve found ourselves tangled up in the bureaucracy that governs the systems and organisations that are meant to support us.

From the Local Authority being able to change something at the click of a button which we then need to go to literal court to get changed back (tribunal date is March next year).

To the council needing proof of something it’s nearly impossible to prove to prevent them from slapping us with an eye watering fine.

From losing the funding we had for our son’s alternative provision, meaning we are having to bear the expense ourselves.

To the twins now being at the beginning of what is currently a predicted three year wait for autism assessments.

Not forgetting our government, who we had such high hopes for, that insists on taking from the most vulnerable instead of taxing the rich like an absurd reverse Robin Hood.

And there’s even more I can’t get into here.

Life is challenging. It is for everyone, of course. But it seems those individuals and families who need the most support are hit with more challenges and ridiculous hoops they need to jump through just to get by. We are by no means the most affected by this. We are privileged to have other options, which so many families don’t have. But it is still very real in our day to day life.

Of course the real victims in this mess are the children. These kids who need extra help to access the things most kids find easy. The kids for whom there are barriers put there by higher authorities who have never met them, who don’t know the incredible little people they are.

So as parents, we fight for them. We go to the tribunals; we fill out the lengthy forms; we become “those parents”, emailing daily just to get heard. We push for assessments, we research, we argue. We take on the fight our children are too little to bear and we do it with tired bodies and tired minds, but we do it.

At times we have felt abandoned by everything that is there to help us, including our Heavenly Father. But I know that God isn’t offended by this. He can take our ranting and raving at him. Our demands that he tells us exactly what he’s playing at. Our questions of where he is in this, or if he’s even there at all.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”- 2 Corinthians 4:16-17

Most days our troubles feel neither light nor momentary. They feel heavy and endless. But as Christians we have hope that there is something so much greater coming. I believe that both in this life and the next, God has something great for us. And, as one of my favourite writers and podcasters Kendra Adachi says, “Good is here right now”.

So I’m going to climb off my soapbox now, go and grab myself a can of Diet Pepsi and give my boy a cuddle. I will find joy in these glimmers and draw strength from them to keep fighting the fight.

Onwards.