Before I start… let’s all just get one thing straight. Adult life is, at the baseline, objectively hard. Whether you’re single or married, whether you have kids or not, whether you are working or not. Adult life comes with many different challenges and everyone has things that they find hard. Let’s just agree with that.

As we’re entering a new academic year, and this year we’re going to be settling two anxious girlies into school for the first time, I thought I’d share with you things that we do that help make our life feel a little less crazy and a little more manageable with the challenges that we have.

Some of what I share may seem obscenely privileged to you and other things may seem basic and obvious. Just take what is good for you and leave the rest. The thing I’m trying to do here is to give you permission to make life easier for yourself. Of course, you don’t need permission really, but I’m here giving it.

• Grocery delivery

Before our recent holiday, we took the kids to big Asda, chucked the twins in the trolley and did a big shop. Our 7 year old son found the environment incredibly overwhelming so asked to be carried most of the time, which limited my husband’s ability to grab things to chuck in the trolley. As I pushed the trolley (with two 4 year olds in), it gradually got heavier and heavier with all the shopping until I was having to use my full body to push it round corners!! Needless to say, we normally stick to online grocery deliveries. Navigating big shops is just a no go for us right now.

• Hello Fresh

Getting sent the ingredients and recipes for three grown up, nutritious meals each week has been a game changer for us as we were sick of just eating the three meals the kids will eat. Get yourself a husband who will cook them for you and you’re in for the win.

• Cleaner fortnightly

Once we got a cleaner, I knew we would never go back! We had a break from having one for a few months and I noticed how the house slowly declined as I just don’t have the time, energy or inclination to clean. If you can afford it, go for it!

• Washing weekly

When we weren’t having a cleaner, I enlisted the help of a wonderful lady who took some of our washing away, cleaned it, dried it and returned it beautifully folded a few days later. Her help was so valuable and reasonably priced that we’ve kept her on. Some weeks I just chuck her the last little bits that I haven’t got to, sometimes she gets all of our grown up clothes when I’ve spent all week washing the kids’ clothes and sometimes she gets sheets and towels. Outsourcing at its finest 👍🏻.

• Refills

This is good for the environment and I’ve found it’s good for us too. Instead of buying hand wash, shampoo, conditioner and body wash regularly, we buy them in huge bottles and refill the smaller bottles we already had. We use Miniml and I find it to be really reasonably priced and great quality. Just knowing that we always have some (I buy more every 6 months or so) is one weight off my mind. Buying in bulk in general is a good idea.

• Sharing and asking for help

I am by nature a bit of an oversharer (can you tell by this blog?) but I really find it helpful to share stresses and problems I’m having and asking for advice or prayer. Whether it’s on a Facebook group of like minded people in the same situation or in a WhatsApp message to some Christian friends, for me, sharing really does lessen the load. Plus, when I’m fresh out of ideas and do not have the mental energy to figure something out, it’s often helpful to get different perspectives on our situation.

• Pray

I believe in a God who is able, always listening and always present. So, even when I’m in the middle of chaos, I often pause, open up my hands and just say “help me”. Sometimes that’s all that’s necessary for me to experience a tiny bit more peace in that moment. Other times I bring him monologues asking for his help in different areas of my life and, even though I don’t get an “I’ve got it” response, I believe and trust that he has heard me and he is always working, even when I can’t feel it or see it.

So there you go! There is no shame at all in asking for help, even if you feel you don’t “need” it. If anything, now is a good time to get it as there will inevitably come a time you suddenly could do with the extra help. Unfortunately one of the big challenges of adulthood is that no one is going to swoop in to help you and take away all your problems (even Jesus, he promises to be with us in the mess, not that there won’t be any mess). If you need help, you have to ask for it.

We need each other. Whether you pay for it with money, chocolate or effusive thanks, it’s always worth exploring.

What help do you have that makes your life easier?