Tomorrow marks a full month since we took the girls out of school. When people ask me how home educating is going, I often say “better than I thought it would!” Admittedly, I was expecting it to be a dumpster fire having three autistic kids home all the time, so anything is better than that, but we’ve been wonderfully surprised by how it’s gone so far.

The most important difference is seeing the change in the girls. Out of school they can be their full, glorious, unmasked selves. Occasionally that looks like spending entire days at home in their pants. It had gotten to such a bad point in school that we were genuinely worried for the girls’ mental health if they were to continue going. So to see them so joyful, so freely expressing themselves and so inquisitive is a delight. I must acknowledge that I’m aware of our immense privilege in being able to take the girls out of school since I don’t work. For other families, their children have to stay in a place they feel unsafe because their parents are unable to give up work to bring them home. So I’m grateful we had that option.

I had assumed that the girls would be more interested in “formal” learning like worksheets. However, it quickly became apparent that a request for the girls to write or read something would lead to either a very silly response or a meltdown. We believe they may have some struggles in that area anyway so we’re easing off any pressure to write and read. After all, the girls are only four!

So what does home education look like for us as a family? It looks like trips to the aquarium and the wildlife park; time spent in the library reading books and playing games; listening to podcasts about our favourite animals on car journeys; playing with kinetic sand, play dough and slime; hunting for mushrooms and bugs outside; asking Google hundreds of questions and lots and lots of time on screens. The kids love to learn and they do it in their own way. We are just learning how to sit back and let them. And also doing all the Googling.

A really big benefit of bringing the girls home that we did not see coming is the effect it’s had on our son. We had assumed that he would find having the girls home all the time really difficult, and sometimes it can get a bit too much for him. However, he now has two play mates he loves to play with, watch videos with and make things with. Whereas before he would spend the entire day playing on Minecraft, he is now showing interest in long-forgotten toys and books, even having a read by himself at times. Clearly his sisters are much more fun than his mum so provide more options of things to do. We’re thrilled he’s enjoying having them around.

Of course, nothing is perfect; I am constantly worrying we’re not doing enough, by 6pm I’m often a shell of a person and I would be overjoyed if someone could take the kids out of the house between the hours of 9 and 3. The days are relentless and often the nights are interrupted too. Occasionally the needs of the three children overlap or conflict or exacerbate each other. Thankfully the girls have been awarded DLA as otherwise our bank account would be empty by Christmas. And, of course, the house is in perpetual chaos.

But… One of the benefits of home education is that we are not limited to the hours of the school day, or even the days of the week. So those days when I’m really not feeling it and the kids are feeling a bit bleugh, we can have a lazy day at home in our pyjamas and I can lie on the sofa reading my book. Inevitably a “super learning day” (a day where we’ve gone out, explored, asked lots of questions and had lots of experiences) will be just around the corner.

Home educating all three kids was always an option hovering on the periphery for us, especially since our son struggled so much in school. However, we are (currently) seeing this as an in between season before we find suitable schools for all three kids. At the moment, that looks like a special school for all three of them, which feels impossible, but a small mainstream might work for the girls.

For now, the kids all love being at home and (for the most part) we love having them home too. It’s such a gift to be able to spend so much of their childhood with them. After all, they will only be this young for a short time. The house can be in order and we can finally have time to ourselves in the future.