Way back when, pre-kids, I decided to take up running. I used the Couch to 5K app to get me going and as soon as I could just listen to music without the woman telling me to stop and walk every few minutes, I did. This is when we lived in Winchester close to St Catherine’s Hill, which was a perfect place for running. Largely flat and paved around the bottom, with beautiful trees and a river to look at, it also had the benefit at the time of not being very busy so you could run for a while with just seeing the odd dog walker. I pushed myself to run further each time, either turning around at a certain point or doing a full loop. I ran that route in many seasons, actual and metaphorical: unempolyed, employed, trying for a baby and briefly while pregnant. I think of it very fondly now as it was a really wonderful place to go for a run and it was right on our doorstep.

My music of choice then and now is a noisy mix of emo, punk rock, metal and screamo as the energy carries me and motivates me. Plus there’s generally nowhere else I can listen to it anymore as our daily soundtrack features more Gabby’s Dollhouse or Danny Go! than Rise Against and Slipknot. I’m aware that if I were to be a better gatekeeper of my mind, it would probably be better to steer away from such angry, sweary, violent-sounding music but in this case, I feel the end justifies the means, the end being me having a really enjoable time of exercise. Just don’t ask to see my playlist. Fred Durst makes an appearance more than is morally justifiable.

During pregnancy and the little baby years, I only ran very sporadically and I definitely wasn’t able to run for as long or far as I had previously. I found I just didn’t have the energy needed for running so my exercise consisted of walking and pushing a double buggy up Bristol’s hills. Not for the faint-hearted, I assure you. It was a shame I wasn’t so into running at the time as Sam’s college was right next to the Downs, which I only ran around a handful of times. The Downs, if you’re not familiar, are beautiful, huge open green spaces, flat and perfect for team sports like football and Quidditch (I’m not kidding) and ideal for running.

Where we live now isn’t the most inspiring place for runs (you can hop in a car for that), but it is mostly flat and I’ve worked out a fairly painless 5K loop door to door, primarily running alongside the main road. Now when I say 5K, please do not imagine me gleefully galloping constantly for that distance. I manage to run for maybe the length of a song, then I’m walking for a bit, then running, then walking etc etc etc. I want to be able to confidently run 5K before I increase my distance. My goal for the end of the year is a realistic one but I’m not going to share what it is until I beat it!

The gold medallist Eric Lidell famously said, “God made me fast and when I run, I feel His pleasure.” Whilst I don’t feel anything that profound, there is a sense of freedom and release when I’m out running. No one can make any demands of me, no one is climbing on me, my body is my own. I was about to write no one is shouting at me, but invariably there is someone musically screaming in my ear. I don’t care what people think because I’m there and gone in a flash, any judgement they make can only be fleeting. So my bright red tomato face can shine carefree.

I’m not going to pretend that I’m not hoping one of the side effects of running will be weight loss. That will be a big bonus but it isn’t my ultimate goal. Running gives me time to myself, a release of stress, an opportunity to not have to mentally unravel all the things there are to unravel in life. When I’m running, that’s all I’m thinking about. The music is pumping in my ears and I’m setting my sight on markers that I encourage myself to reach before I can slow down. “Keep running to the speed sign… that’s great, now keep running to the roundabout sign… that’s great, now walk.” As I’m pounding the pavements, nothing else can worry me, nothing else can touch me. It’s just me, panting and sweating away, doing something for me.

Do you love running or hate it? Has this at all inspired you to give it a go? Let me know!